next step of life

I've realized that i need to move on with my life. what is my next step?
Recently I've been so caught up with "what would" instead of "what now".
I need to graduate, get a job, and move on with my life.

men and women of california

i've come to the conclusion why there is such a hard way for
nice men and women to meet in california.
it is because men and women of california arent your standard
"norm" of men and women. Though they are called men and women,
there is a clear distinction about who they really are.
(either one or some of the points)

MEN of CALIFORNIA -
are a bit more shy than your average person
are a bit more gay-friendly/oriented in a fashion that they do bro-mance
are metro sexual
are more in touch with their feelings then women
are lost in their career/decision with life
are ungrounded in life

WOMEN of CALIFORNIA -
are more independent
are unlikely to attach themselves to someone
are more in touch with pride then some men
are close minded to other ppl, ie: more selfish
are unwilling to lay down her life/comfort for someone else

im not saying that ppl that do have "good traits" aren't in california,
but, im saying by these criterias, these are the problems that we're facing,
and by all means, me included.

MEN need to be MEN in california..
and
WOMEN need to act more like WOMEN in california..

for "[....] male and female, He created them" Genesis 1:27

life as we know it

a brother in Christ once asked me,
"in a relationship, what can you OFFER? its great that you know you're looking for,
but what about what she's looking for? its not just is she the one, but are YOU the one?"

so, i was pondering about this, and, i was really depressed.
dude, what do i seriously have to offer?...

then, i realized that im awesome, but lazy. hahaha
so, without further ado, here are my qualities that i have to offer :)

1.) i love cooking. Give me a recipe, the right equipment, the right people to cook for,
i dont mind it. Yea, most ppl give me the cold shoulder and say, "you never cooked for me!"
well, to them i say, "YOU NEVER CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE! NEEEURRR :P"

2.) i like my sense of humor. i dont know if you agree with it or not, but i like it and i dont think
im going to change it. Yea, i can be vulgar with the "that's what she said" or the obscure random quotes that i use from various movies and situations that i've seen in my day in age, but, thats my humor, and i think im a humorous guy :)

3.) i can* spoil you.
*limited terms apply: 1) you are a very important person in my life and i would love to do almost anything for you. 2) i have the means to do so. 3) if i can, i will

4.) though EVERYONE is selfish, including myself, i believe that im a tad more selfless then the average. (like, a flat B in comparison to the world k?) like, i'll consider your feelings, consider your situation, consider YOU, consider others, consider the group, etc. etc. i just want the best case scenario

5.) im a more than-your-average tech savy guy. What this means is, whenever your computer is broken, your phone is acting up, you need to use the internet but theres no internet around, i can get you where you need to get to on the web/internet. also, yeah, im always online. roflolocopter :)

6.) most people think this is a downer, but, at least i know where i am, right?
im a gamer. i like games. there are some games that i dont like, and some that i really like.
i would probably try to get you hooked on gaming too

decisions

there are some decisions that are easy to make.
q: "should i sin?"
a: "you shouldn't"
q: "should i goto church?"
a: "yes you should"
q: "grape jelly or strawberry with peanut butter?"
a: "grape jelly"

but, recently, there are some decisions, but more like "options".
like, for me, church situation, spouse, and career choice.

there are some certain decisions that ive made recently like that
i know for sure that im going to keep on playing video games.
thats my given now though that was something i was struggling with.

i feel like i got a "calling", but, im so unsure of it.
i mean, seriously, i dont even do what 'they' do when i'm at school,
and yet, that is their job. is it so hard to want to do it but with other things?

sigh.. choices.
sometimes i wish God made us robots.. =[

heehee.. lol :)

eating out + sinning mentally

I've been eating out so much....
everyday i have eaten out since like, i think saturday.
from sushi to yardhouse to bj's to norm's ..
i think my body is confused.

so, right now, ive lost in total 25 lbs.
i think my body is confused cause ive been eating
really BAD and then REALLY good.
i think i seriously need to get back into the diet,
but for some reason i keep ending up eating with friends.

i need to stop eating with friends.. save money... etc. etc.

This has been the biggest thing thats been eating me up:
choices that i have to make.
It's so easy for me to follow rules and regulations,
that, i've grown accustomed to it.
If someone told me to go witnessing, i would go.
If not, i know the consequences - possible eternal damnation of someone else.
oh well.
But, with choices in career and life, its something that i cannot choose
for some reason. sigh.
So, yesterday i thought about this :

"My will is stronger than anyone else's will for me.
I live however I want to live, but it's killing me.

Sad enough, I choose to be who I am.
I am killing myself. "

When we, as human beings, if we are to choose ourselves over God,
we are simply going to keep on dying, only sadness and disappoint awaits us.

Luckily, for those that loves God and is loved by God,
we have something to look forward to.

and right now, i look forward to two things - serving God and growth.

I was so caught up in "love life", that i forgot the Love of my Life - God.

I came to the conclusion that families only exist to worship God -
if husband and wife cannot glorify God, share the love of God, AND
love others, there's no point in the relationship.
one can achieve it by themselves. seriously.
some relationships are actually stumbling each other from this,
and to them i say, break up that relationship....

ANYWAYS :D
thats my standard of relationship. i dont expect anyone to follow
with it but me.

So, i found my "list" of things i want in my wife.
it went from 23 -> 3, which did not include the standard,
"must be Christian", or "must love God". =P

1. Willing to share Christ's love to strangers
Basically, one of my biggest struggles in life is to share Christ's love to
strangers. I hate meeting new people, and if someone can initiate
relationships, i'll leave that up to my wife. yea, im being a pansy.
leave me alone.

2. Selfless-ness, not selfish-ness
simply put, shes a person that puts other's wants ahead of hers.
This doesnt mean that she simply gives all her money away without
thinking about herself, but, if she is able, she'll do the best with what she
has and gives the rest to people. The best way to think about this is,
shes has to be a woman of sacrifice. She does care for herself,
but if she has to sacrifice, she will.

3. willingness to feed others before she feeds herself.
I think it is similar to #2, but, this is something more precise.
i believe that God has called me to feed others and to give to others.
I believe that giving food to others is one of the best things we can do
for others. I believe that by giving food, we can share Christ's love.
So, she has to have this same trait with me.

God, reveal this woman to me :)