affliction

Remember from when i was reading Job, i remember how hard Job
kept it together, despite losing everything that he ever had.
Family, comfort of friends (sort of), wealth, and even his own life
to a certain extent.
at this point in my life, i consider myself to be poor physically,
im in poor health, and i recently injured myself.
I didnt goto enact lock-in, i didnt go fellowship with friends,
and Im falling fast behind scripture reading as well as daily devotionals.

man, am i a poor example of a Christ-follower, let alone, a crusader.

these days, ive been feeling down because of my health reasons.
on top of it all, finances have been difficult to say the least.
so much mis-communications, so much let-downs, and on top of it all,
im struggling in my own personal relationship with God.
and, the cherry on top of this sundae of disappointment, pursuing
somethings tend to be on the top of my order of "importance".

all i can think about is, despite Apostle's paul affliction, he persevered
and we've received blessings from his letters and his ministry.
looking at Job, we see how one can say praise the Lord despite his
problems and lack of "blessings".

then i look at myself and say,
fffff.

what can i complain about?
im not persecuted, my physical 'illnesses' arent permanent,
and, i still have life ahead of me.

flip diggin' dog gone it.

i need to take each mountain, one step at a time.

affliction? psh. i say, Jesus is greater than all my affliction, greater than my pains.

challenge...

God challenges me ..

to be holy... set apart

to be a disciplemaker ... to make disciples who continually make disciples

to be loving

to be caring

to be humble

to care for others

..

and yet i fail all the time.

i know i failed my soonwons once,

will i fail them again?

i failed at being holy..

i failed at loving..

i fail caring..

i fail..

but im human.

screw it. screw failures.

im going for the crown that God has called me race for.

screw you satan. you can try to stop me, and you might hinder,

but God is with me, God is for me, and God will tear you apart,

any day of the week, any hour, any second.

Joel 2:32

³² And everyone who calls
on the name of the LORD will be saved;

all is in your hands..

God, everything is in your hands.

everything.

yarr.

40 fail

sigh. satan attacks me at my highest point.....
i hate him so much.. SOO MUCH...

ahhhhh

im still going to pray like crazy.
PRAY PRAY PRAY>
READ READ READ >
PRAY PRAY PRAYYYYY xD

start -40

Yesterday, i ate wings. 25 hot, 15 samurai @ hooters.

flipping.. this isnt a good way to start. supposedly it makes it harder.

but honestly, first day of anything should be easy. its the second day thats hard..

i have 100 prayer requests split 7 ways/days,
7 days of VIP prayer topics,
and bible in a year tract.

They will definitely keep me busy.

facebook is out of my life at the moment.

dang, i feel withdrawn effects of facebook:

Everytime i open a browser, i think facebook.

Everytime i open my phone browser, i want to facebook.

facebook had a hold on me.

i will not let it consume me!!!! >,<

also, i started using twitter again. @jonteng

if you want to give me your prayer requests,

please send them my way at jonteng@gmail.com

or text me

lub lub ;D

all in

i turned off my facebook.

for how long, i dont know...

i think i was just stalking people too much and

its been a distraction....

(people? person? ;))

anyways, vision conference.. sigh.

truthfully, i want to play on undig.

once u go undig, u cant go back :o

i wish someone would call me to ask me to.. lol

for this very reason, im reluctant to goto Vision.

not only are finances arent set and i dont have a

heart to be a bangjang, my church members

dont seem like they want to. they want a

SNOWBOARDING retreat..

big emphasis on snowboarding :o

sigh... to vision or not?

thats why im doing the 40... all in..

"im sorry! No, im sorry! Wait, sorry!!"

i hate the word sorry.

i hate to use it, and do you know why?

cause it has meaning when the next time you mess up, you have to say sorry again.

God's forgiveness is EVERLASTING, INFINITE, GRACIOUS, PATIENT.

but when we say to each other, "sorry", and commit the same thing later one,

sometimes i just want to puke, because when you do that to your friends again,

that first sorry, or every sorry before, was meaningless.

thats not to say, i wont forgive.

Christ has forgiven ALL of our sins. one more forgiveness to my fellow brother/sister

is fine.

but im just saying, when someone says "sorry", when it isnt heart felt,

i find that useless. it wouldve been better to say nothing and kept quiet

than saying "im sorry".

on another note, I dont know God's timing AT ALL.

seriously, to go for it, not to go for it, to be patient, to wait,

i dont know. maybe it wouldve been better for me to not start at all...

possibly bombed midterm, 35% of grade project, got injured,

financial problems, health problems,

but i got JC, and thats all i need.