recap

As the year goes on by, im recapping about what i did this year.
first 6 months - personally, i think it was my dryest moment.
i didnt serve that well on campus, i didnt serve that well on church,
and my personal spiritual life was wack. sigh. i felt so unashamed
to call myself a Christian at that time.
i think i also gained like 15+ pounds.

next 5 months - i wanted so much more things to do with God.
Maybe i had ulterior motives, maybe i was selfish, but i felt
that i seriously did alot better, but, honestly, it wasnt enough.

December - thats when things kicked in. Though i sinned greatly,
and though i failed, God used me and God continued to use my
struggles and pains to teach me about His mercy and Grace.

as the year is ending, what awaits me this year?
a new calling? a new car? new relationships?

Honestly, HONESTLY.... just worshiping God is enough :)

remainder

there are times when i wish some people wouldnt tell me what i didnt want to know
there is a saying, ignorance is bliss, and, truthfully, sometimes it is.. sigh..
maybe its a lie, maybe its a truth, but whatever it is, i did not need to know

but, the reason why i call this post remainder, is because no matter what,
God will be the remainder.
Relationships are awesome, but, God will outlast them.
Money and enjoyment are great, but God's will is stronger and will remain.

with that realization, i can go to the next day with all my baggage and say,
"yes, baggage this, baggage that, and yet, God will still remain."

God is the first and the Last..
no matter what, if we trust in the Lord, He'll remain..
ergo..

His will > all of ours.
His will will remain.

and yet, why do i pursue my will so much? :[

God, i pray that though i continue to burden and struggle with the life You gave me,
i will rejoice in the fact that You gave me this life, and that, You are greater than
any burdens i have.
You are the remainder.

affliction

Remember from when i was reading Job, i remember how hard Job
kept it together, despite losing everything that he ever had.
Family, comfort of friends (sort of), wealth, and even his own life
to a certain extent.
at this point in my life, i consider myself to be poor physically,
im in poor health, and i recently injured myself.
I didnt goto enact lock-in, i didnt go fellowship with friends,
and Im falling fast behind scripture reading as well as daily devotionals.

man, am i a poor example of a Christ-follower, let alone, a crusader.

these days, ive been feeling down because of my health reasons.
on top of it all, finances have been difficult to say the least.
so much mis-communications, so much let-downs, and on top of it all,
im struggling in my own personal relationship with God.
and, the cherry on top of this sundae of disappointment, pursuing
somethings tend to be on the top of my order of "importance".

all i can think about is, despite Apostle's paul affliction, he persevered
and we've received blessings from his letters and his ministry.
looking at Job, we see how one can say praise the Lord despite his
problems and lack of "blessings".

then i look at myself and say,
fffff.

what can i complain about?
im not persecuted, my physical 'illnesses' arent permanent,
and, i still have life ahead of me.

flip diggin' dog gone it.

i need to take each mountain, one step at a time.

affliction? psh. i say, Jesus is greater than all my affliction, greater than my pains.

challenge...

God challenges me ..

to be holy... set apart

to be a disciplemaker ... to make disciples who continually make disciples

to be loving

to be caring

to be humble

to care for others

..

and yet i fail all the time.

i know i failed my soonwons once,

will i fail them again?

i failed at being holy..

i failed at loving..

i fail caring..

i fail..

but im human.

screw it. screw failures.

im going for the crown that God has called me race for.

screw you satan. you can try to stop me, and you might hinder,

but God is with me, God is for me, and God will tear you apart,

any day of the week, any hour, any second.

Joel 2:32

³² And everyone who calls
on the name of the LORD will be saved;

all is in your hands..

God, everything is in your hands.

everything.

yarr.

40 fail

sigh. satan attacks me at my highest point.....
i hate him so much.. SOO MUCH...

ahhhhh

im still going to pray like crazy.
PRAY PRAY PRAY>
READ READ READ >
PRAY PRAY PRAYYYYY xD

start -40

Yesterday, i ate wings. 25 hot, 15 samurai @ hooters.

flipping.. this isnt a good way to start. supposedly it makes it harder.

but honestly, first day of anything should be easy. its the second day thats hard..

i have 100 prayer requests split 7 ways/days,
7 days of VIP prayer topics,
and bible in a year tract.

They will definitely keep me busy.

facebook is out of my life at the moment.

dang, i feel withdrawn effects of facebook:

Everytime i open a browser, i think facebook.

Everytime i open my phone browser, i want to facebook.

facebook had a hold on me.

i will not let it consume me!!!! >,<

also, i started using twitter again. @jonteng

if you want to give me your prayer requests,

please send them my way at jonteng@gmail.com

or text me

lub lub ;D

all in

i turned off my facebook.

for how long, i dont know...

i think i was just stalking people too much and

its been a distraction....

(people? person? ;))

anyways, vision conference.. sigh.

truthfully, i want to play on undig.

once u go undig, u cant go back :o

i wish someone would call me to ask me to.. lol

for this very reason, im reluctant to goto Vision.

not only are finances arent set and i dont have a

heart to be a bangjang, my church members

dont seem like they want to. they want a

SNOWBOARDING retreat..

big emphasis on snowboarding :o

sigh... to vision or not?

thats why im doing the 40... all in..

"im sorry! No, im sorry! Wait, sorry!!"

i hate the word sorry.

i hate to use it, and do you know why?

cause it has meaning when the next time you mess up, you have to say sorry again.

God's forgiveness is EVERLASTING, INFINITE, GRACIOUS, PATIENT.

but when we say to each other, "sorry", and commit the same thing later one,

sometimes i just want to puke, because when you do that to your friends again,

that first sorry, or every sorry before, was meaningless.

thats not to say, i wont forgive.

Christ has forgiven ALL of our sins. one more forgiveness to my fellow brother/sister

is fine.

but im just saying, when someone says "sorry", when it isnt heart felt,

i find that useless. it wouldve been better to say nothing and kept quiet

than saying "im sorry".

on another note, I dont know God's timing AT ALL.

seriously, to go for it, not to go for it, to be patient, to wait,

i dont know. maybe it wouldve been better for me to not start at all...

possibly bombed midterm, 35% of grade project, got injured,

financial problems, health problems,

but i got JC, and thats all i need.

/title

WORD for the DAY:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Sports day - as broncos, we didn't get first place.
yea, sucks, but...
BUT...

these verse came into mind. be joyful, pray, give thanks.
there was so many times when i wished that i could have went in
to the game and just deck someone. but, that isnt very Christ like huh?

God tests us in all circumstances, gives us OPPORTUNITIES to be joyful,
to pray, and to give thanks.

i think i've been lacking in these areas of my life these days.

i also came to another realization in my search for a spouse.
these are the only things that TRULY matter
1.) Loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, soul, and BODY
(i added body because i realize, using your body to show love to God
is a difficult thing as well)
2.) Loves her neighbors as she loves herself.
(commitment, desire to love others/share Christ, encouragements)
3.) has not only CHRIST as a source of counsel, but a sisterhood of GOOD counsel.


i realized the importance of REALationships:
LORDship - who is your Lord/Master?
FRIENDships - who are your friends?

good lord/master = good direction
good friends = good character

i had a "dream" inside my dream.
God used my soreness to wake me up.
PRAISE THE LORD :D

10 - 20 - 10
when should i try?

choices

as equals in this world, big or small, tall or short, whatever color, age, race,
we're all under the same God, heavens, on the same earth, with one life.

looking at those facts, i realized that i force my own life standards on others.
when i look back at all the times i could have supported others instead of lecturing them,
i see how much of an impact i could have had.

COULD HAVE..

but life gives us two choices:
a good choice or a better choice

how often do i forget to pray and to ask GOD what is the better choice in my life.
and then, when He answers yes, it's easy; no, is also easy; wait, gets harder;
but the answer i fear the most is silence.

God's given me the choice.
what choice would i make when that time comes?

WORD for the DAY:
Psalm 104: 33 -34
I will sing to the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the LORD.

limitations

there are limitations to

WHAT we can/cannot do..
HOW we can/cannot do...
WHEN we can/cannot do...

to limit ourselves, is to practice self control and to give it up at this point.
to limit ourselves, is to restrain and to wait.
to limit, is to know that for a fact, we CHOSE to hold back.

if there were no limits, destruction would be upon us.

Commitment

Psalm 37:5-7

⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

⁶ He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Committing to the MY way to the Lord...
wow..

be still... WOW... WAITT... WOW...

How great is Your will Lord, but will i take Your will for mine?
Take my heart O God, show me Your ways..
make Your will, mine.

Simple Difficult Command

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray Continually.

how hard is it to always pray first.
sometimes we want ACTION ACTION ACTION!!
but, how many times do we wait on the Lord?

the Israelites were scared to take the promised land
for fear of man despite GOD's answer to GO.
when they finally wanted to go, they did not inquire
of the Lord and got OWNED.

honestly, sometimes, we do consciously want to get
rocked by God, but it is always the long route.

do we desire the long route or want the best effective,
God's plan for our lives?

there in lies with our will power as well as with our free will..

1 Thessalonians 5:17 reminds that, in all circumstances,
pray. pray.. prayy!! pray..

jonteng, are you praying?
christians, are you praying?

List of Things i want in a spouse

doubt anyone reads this.
i really think this is for my own references.
hopefully one day i'll look back and check this list out.
then one by one, cross these things out. :)

1. Is committed to God
2. Is committed to God
3. Is committed to God
...
1415123. Is committed to God
1415124. Loves her family
1415125. Finds joy in sharing Christ in others
1415126. Finds joy in talking about God
1415127. Finds joy in reading about God
1415128. Loves and honors my family
1415129. Has confidence in girls and not guys
1415130. Loves to sing praises/isn't tone deaf
1415131. Can survive on her own in case i go back to Christ.
1415132. Understands my humor.
1415133. Can cook, but isn't required to.
1415134. Easy going but isn't a pushover.
1415135. Can keep up with me in eating.. i accept the fact that no one can eat as much as i CAN,
but if u can just watch me or keep me company.. thats all i ask :)
1415136. Forgives me for many stupid jokes that are to come in our relationship.
1415137. Isn't worried about money.
1415138. Doesn't mind entertaining random people that visit randomly.
1415139. respects me
1415140. can say, "you can have all the world, but give me Jesus"
1415141. can stand my friends.
1415142. can fall asleep while praying/reading the Word
1415143. accepts me for who i am.
1415144. has same mentality about drinking alcohol as me.
1415145. semi immune to my anger/beej tactics
1415146. willing/working on forgiving others

ill add more later as i think of them

Love Hate Relationship

<sup>WORD for the DAY:

Psalm 97:10
10</sup> Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

dang, hate and love goes hand in hand.
"You cannot love both God and money"
you cannot love both God and "____"

Loving the LORD means to put everything else secondary..
EVERYTHING... thats hard..

"nothing good happens after 2AM"

yeap. i made sure i made that happen..

WORD of the DAY:
Psalm 94:4
⁴ For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.

Dang, alot of times i forget to fear the Lord.
I forget the awesomeness that comes from fear of the Lord -
true worship.
I need to worship more.... praise teams? :D
im going to start learning the guitar once again
for the sake of worshipping the Lord.

"paper cant beat rock cause rock will tear through paper"

VERSE of the DAY
Psalm 94:22
²² But the LORD has become my fortress,
and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.

God must be my rock, THE fortress, in whom I take refuge.
When you find security in a fortress, why bother with anything else?
If my GOD is my fortress, then I don't need anything else.

'nuf said.

dang you justin kim, you're secure in JC also applies here..

LESSON of LIFE for the DAY
I need to have God as my rock before I should do anything else.
Relationships, living life, caring for others, being loved...
if I don't have a secure relationship w/God, im done-sky.

Justin Kim is awesome. he encourages me with "secure in JC"

i want a catchphrase that is encouraging like his.
pondering being /blog